Jerry – the dog

His eyes are so intense I want to look away…Or never look away, I can’t decide..

I always loved dogs but I’ve never had one until last year when I adopted him from an NGO. He’s not with us anymore but still I do sometimes think of him and stumble upon his pictures.

I saw a post online for dog adoption and saw his cute little face. And something in me just clicked. As if his hazel eyes and pink nose called out to me. So we got him home. And then started the craziness..

Well, I knew how much work it’d be to have Jerry in the house but I dint realize the emotional dependence that came with it. And for a possessive person like me, I just couldn’t relax. And neither could he.

He’d always look at me with those big hazel puppy eyes and follow me around. And that’s what dogs do. They need you and you need them too. It made me so conscious, that he’s so dependant on me. That I control almost every aspect of his life. I tell him what to eat, where to poop, where to sleep etc etc.

I was not able to keep up with that. I could manage the feeding, cleaning and making him have his medicine. I couldn’t manage the ‘controlling someone’s life’ part of it. The training part was becoming taxing. And he was a super intelligent dog. He would learn things fast. But I always felt sad training him.

I wasn’t able to keep up with it. To tell him ‘No’ all the time. To make him sit before giving him food. Teaching him not to nibble on us. I dint like the person I was becoming, who controlled the actions of another living being. And I don’t judge who do. A trained dog is a happy dog. A dog needs an alpha to lead him

I guess I wasn’t alpha enough. And he deserved someone better.

Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them, and filling an emptiness we didn’t ever know we had.

Thom Jones

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