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Maybe just a bad dream….

I had a dream about you last night. Well, that was new.. I never dream about you.. I don’t even think about you anymore. Still, you were the first guy I ever loved. First kiss, first everything. And yet I wonder, why we never had a first date. About the dream, it was nice..and passionate.. like it always was with were my first love. But more than that, it was weird because it felt so good. For a change it felt like you loved me. And it felt real.

It brought back a lot of pain. I don’t know from where. It’s not like I’m sad or anything. My life is great. But that dream unearthed something. You were not a good choice. You gave me a lot of pain. And I don’t say that because you broke my heart. I say that, because you spoilt love for me. You took advantage of me and I didn’t deserve that. I could never love anybody like that. I don’t anymore, but I did once. And yet you still manage to creep out from my subconscious into my dreams and mess up my day.

Anyway, I’m with someone else now. Just to point it out. And I am happy and in love. Real love, like it’s supposed to be. It is supposed to make you feel good everyday. It is supposed to make you feel safe. Sure, you have your ups and downs but in the end you still want to be right by the side of that one person. The right one.

“Your first love isn’t the first person you give your heart to―it’s the first one who breaks it.”

Lang Leav, Sad Girls

One response to “Maybe just a bad dream….”

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