The bitter-sweet relationship between me and my job

I am always in the after work state!!

I guess it’s kind of ironic that I’m writing this on a Friday evening and on my office laptop. My job stresses me out!!!! No news flash there, everyone’s does. But to be honest, my work isn’t even hectic. I work in finance but I do not work at an investment bank or wall street or those high pressure jobs they show in movies like Wolf of Wall Street. But still my work is stressing me out and I know that I am not the only one who feels like that.

I have been working for almost ten years now and the dissatisfaction has exponentially increased over these years. I often find myself wondering – what contribution am I making to this world. And I am absolutely one of those people who feel every job is important and that some jobs are just generally overhyped and over glorified. But I still keep thinking, what do I have to show for last ten years of work?

And more than that, I feel that turning on the laptop should not induce nausea every morning. I work around 8 to 10 hours everyday and have no difficulty performing my “routine” tasks at work. It is not the work that is annoying me, it is everything else that comes with it. To deal with people everyday whether its guiding a subordinate or replying a manager is all such a pain. Microsoft Teams notification sound gives me the creeps. I mean I check my outlook more than I check my social media, even on the weekends and I don’t even work on weekends. The sheer pressure of being available and responding to emails is stress enough. Add to that – an emotional, overdramatic and challenging person who works above you and what do you get? Everyday misery. A bad leader can turn bliss into stress.

You are probably thinking why don’t I quit my job and find something else. Well, that’s the tricky part. I don’t know what I want to do. I’m in my 30s, and I don’t know where to take my life – midlife crisis right? Plus its good money. I get paid enough to take care of my expenses and luxuries (to a certain extent of course). And I thought I’ll start writing blogs, become an internet sensation and just be rich overnight via WordPress. But that doesn’t look like happening anytime soon. Its a good place to vent at least and find an empathetic shoulder.

And I am pretty darn sure no one from my office will get to read this, so…my job’s safe… Right??

“I love my job only when I’m on vacation”

Found this written somewhere.